Living Out Your Destiny in Partnership
February 4, 2026
Through this series, I’ve shared many of the love relationship lessons I learned through my personal experiences finding my partner and fulfilling our vision, and professional observations while working with so many individuals and couples through the years. The topics I have explored parallel recent couple research findings that shed light on long-term happiness in relationships.
My name is Lane Lasater, a retired clinical psychologist. In gratitude for the life I have been given, I am sharing everything I learned during my career and personal life on my website http://www.LaneLasater.com and on my YouTube Channel Life Roadmaps from a Retired Psychologist https://www.youtube.com/@lane205 Each post contains my written material, an AI generated graphic, a 15-17 minute audio summary, and a 5-7 minute video summarizing the material. You can download a fillable and printable PDF workbook that contains all the exercises that I developed to accompany the material here: Finding a Life Partner Fillable Workbook
“Love is a two-way street, constantly under construction.”
Carrol Bryant
Research on Long-Term Couple Satisfaction
Researchers Samantha Joel and Paul Eastwick and colleagues used machine learning to summarize data from hundreds of researchers studying couples’ satisfaction worldwide. Here’s a quote from the authors’ study abstract:
“Across 43 dyadic longitudinal datasets from 29 laboratories, the top relationship-specific predictors of relationship quality were perceived partner commitment, appreciation, sexual satisfaction, perceived partner satisfaction, and conflict. The top individual-difference predictors were life satisfaction, negative affect (emotions), depression, attachment avoidance, and attachment anxiety.” (Italics added.)
In Psychology Today, Scott M. Stanley summarized the primary conclusion of the above study as: “It’s not who you’re with, but the dynamic you have with them.” (italics added) Stanley also noted: “Across everything studied, the top five variables that explained the most variance for both present and future relationship satisfaction were:
- perceived partner commitment;
- appreciation;
- sexual satisfaction;
- perceived partner satisfaction
- conflict
Our Continuing Partnership Journey
Forty-eight years have passed since my first date with my life partner Nancy Larson. Our adventure together has been beyond my wildest dreams, and we have much to be grateful for. Despite having to learn to live without alcohol and how to surrender to the partnership, with a lot of help from Nancy and others, I’ve been able to do my part.
We’ve weathered career difficulties, parenting challenges, and difficulties with our childhood families, but we’ve come through it all happy and healthy. We have two wonderful sons who are creating fulfilling lives with their partners. Most important of all, we’ve enjoyed the days of our lives and treasured the adventures of marriage and family life.
Best wishes to you on your partnership journey!